I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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