it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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