it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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