Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
