Cold hands, warm shart.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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