amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize