apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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