just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Found the puke drawer
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No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
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You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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