I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Randomize
