I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
