OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
