This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize