I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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