Whod you bang
hotel room ftw
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
