Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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