Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
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This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
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I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
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