trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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