yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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