i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
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I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
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