I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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