I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
