when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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