i just wanna soil my oats bro
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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