and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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