ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
