No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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