I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
