I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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