Midget sex pt 2 tonight
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Randomize
