I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
