I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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