My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
