Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
