I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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