I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
