Swine flu. Run for my life!
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
We need to rekindle our bromance
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Alive.
So much puke
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
