if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
