dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
