I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
