I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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