I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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