My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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