I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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