That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
porn star boner night. come get it.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
