I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
