So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
