you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
