Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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