I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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