: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
