So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
