After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize