I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize