This is not my ceiling
too bad you live with your parents still
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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