booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
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