Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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