If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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