I'm so fucking centered right now
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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