Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
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His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
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Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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