What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
