What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
All I want is dick and wine.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
