Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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