Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize