Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
