I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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