turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
