before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
