You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
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