I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
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